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12 weeks and cant settle with out help.

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6.7K views 14 replies 8 participants last post by  Ane Cecilie Remvig  
A
#1 ·
Hi - I had my Vizsla Daisy for 2 weeks now and we are all doing really well 🙂
Daisy is truly a Velcro dog and I bring her to work so learning to be alone is not going super great. When we get home my husband and daughter takes over with the cuddling and Daisy loves it!
So I understand why we still can’t be alone for 2 min but I what to about the fact that she wont settle on her own? Night (in a crate) or day - she can’t fall asleep if she not in someone’s arms or lying with her on the floor (no beds or sofas are allowed).
Even if she is worked out, has peed and is obviously tired she can’t fall asleep before someone “helps” her.
We have tried selveral times not to help her, make her find peace alone when she gets tired enough.
But then she gets worked up like a small child does and eventually turns into Crazy Daisy: digging, chewing, jumping, biting. Quite severely.
She sleeps no more than an hour at the time (night or day) before she wakes up to check is someone is there. If she can see me or smell my fingers through the crate she settles again. If I ignore the whining she goes crazy digging, scratching the crate door like a mad dog and/or chews up the madras. All within 5 minutes.
I have tried to ignore it for up to 30 minutes but give up because I’m afraid she will hurt her self scratching the crate door.
During the day it’s the same if I close the crate door. If open - she just gets up to find me, whines and walk backward toward to crate white looking at me: “please tug me back in”. When follewed back she settles immediately.
I need help, please, can someone tell me if I’m doing something really wrong? And what to do?
The crazy frantic biting and jumping can last for more than an hour and is insufferable for anyone around so it’s not an option to ignore her when she is tired and need to nap 😕
I should add - she gets plenty of exercise for her age and lots of metal stimulation. So she gets naturally tired and “ask” for being tugged in, so it’s not that’s she not ready to sleep or can’t feel the need for sleep. Is the separation thing that’s the issues..
please help if you have some advice?
 
F
#2 ·
Like you, I never imagined that I would allow our dog on our couches either, but I eventually learned that with our Vizsla it was the price to pay for some peace. A compromise might be to put their bed up on and older couch and let them sit beside you there -- it worked for us.

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk
 
6
#3 ·
Some had reported putting a sweater or piece of clothing in the crate that has your smell on it will comfort them.

Another trick is to start with VERY short intervals of putting it in the crate, shutting the door, walking away, and coming right back. Slowly get it to longer intervals. The point is to teach your dog that even if it can't see you, you will always come back. This process can take a month. It is normal for them to whine a little when you start crate training.

As far as the short naps, chewing up things, biting....all of that stuff is your Vizsla being a Vizsla pup. Just stay consistent on the teaching, and it will go away.


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#4 ·
We have blankets on our couch to protect it and at night we put a dogbed on the couch. We also have a dogbed by our bed. 90% of the time she sleeps through the night with no issues. On occasion something will make her anxious and she will come into our bedroom get a quick scratch and lick our hands and then she settles in for the duration on her dogbed. It took a long time to figure out a routine that worked for all of us, and in our case crates were out of the question. So point being, I believe you will eventually figure it out, but giving in on the sofa issue may be a solution. Our Sadie is not allowed on beds however and a quick water spritz will remind her if needed (she will test that rule every few months).
 
A
#5 ·
Thanks for reply!
We spend a lot of time on the floor (a lot!!) because of the no couch rule so I don’t feel it’s the couch thing is the issue. But I will definitely consider it.
Wool sweater, towel, blanket and unwashed t-shirt is already at the crate. I added more and more because it seems she like to toss it around and get comfortable in the piles before curling up. But it haven’t “worked”.

Today I was at work and my husband tried to see if he could exhaust Daisy into settling by her self by simply not picking her up or sitting on the floor so she couldnt crawl up on his lap and cuddle.
But after 2 hours she kept jumping him with 30 sec intervals so he ended up, after 2,5 hours to close the crate door on her, even though she wasn’t calm at all.
It took another 45 mins (and digging, scratching. biting bars and howling) before she gave up and fell asleep. And then only for 20 mins because the crate door was closed.
It really not easy!!
And the plans was never to leave my dog in the crate for several hours but it would be nice that she would just fall asleep on her own. In the crate.
But we will keep working. Thanks again 🙏
 
G
#6 ·
If she's 12 weeks and you had her for 2, where was she before that and what were the conditions?

Consistency is key here, so establish a routine and stick to it. So, feed, potty, play, potty...nap/crate time. Let her CIO. It takes time for them to transition to the new home and settle in, but as long as you follow the script she should get it.
 
#8 ·
I guess I'm just mean.
I let my pups cry it out, and only get them out once they are quite. They may only be quite for a very small amount of time, but quite is the key to getting out.
This does not mean, I don't do everything possible to make their crate comfy.
 
B
#9 ·
I hate to say it, but your pup has your family well trained! It is time to turn the tables, I was never able to crate my guy, (ate towels, blankets, screamed, barked tried to tunnel out, after 7 weeks I gave up), he followed me everywhere, slept on my feet, then in my lap. They need a schedule, your schedule with their needs considered. I do have a crate in my car, he is crated there, always when we go somewhere....he always went with me until he was about 18 months, then we gradually left him home for short periods of time, increasing as he has gotten older. He is now 2.5 years and has never torn up anything. Cuddle, love and supply your baby security.
 
A
#10 ·
You guys are good 😊 - pushing me towards CIO is what I need, it seems. And just to be clear, even if she’s digging and destroying the madras and blankets I should still just ignore it no matter how long it takes?

About the schedule- it makes sense - just like small children works better when the same thing happens everyday at the same time. I get that.
But in our case I work on different shifts so the only constants in this family is getting up Monday-Friday and getting to bed; What happens during the day varies every day so no help there. I considered feeding her at the same time every day (to make up some sort of fix points during the day) but she is absolutely not very interested in food so that just felt pointless.

But the last 24 hours has actually shown a minor improvement: she has settled (open crate) without any cuddle BUT we still need to be in the same room! Entering the kitchen right next will make her leave the crate and follow us even though she can hear us being close by.

And so sorry for asking so much 😬 but do I really have to change my expectations regarding Daisy being left alone to about 18 months?!
To me it would seems reasonable to be able to leave 5 mins now, maybe 10 mins next week and so on. Is that unrealistic??
Not that I’m any where close to be able to even go to the basement alone for 30 sec for before she’s whining and schatching the door.
Ohh so many question 🙈
It’s SUCH a joy to have a dog in the family, I love the walks, the play, the training and the general happiness Daisy brings to the family. But I do want to do things right: making sure she not taking over the family and not ending up being a pain because she gets TO dependent of us. Such a hard balance with a Velcro puppy!!
 
#12 ·
On leaving her alone uncrated, it depends on how much you like your things. Some of my vizsla were medium chewers, and one was a big time chewer. She didn't just stick to things left out. It could be the arm of a chair, carpet, quilt, or leg on a coffee table. She did out grow it, but was closer to 3. It was just whatever was near her, when she laid down to rest needed chewing. I'm not sure how many dog beds I replaced, before she outgrew the phase.
 
N
#13 ·
I was concerned about our pups reaction in the crate as well, he resisted it like crazy early on. I followed everyone’s advice on here and below is what worked for us. Now he’s almost 6 months and seems to love his crate. He sleeps in there at night, goes on car rides in one and gets left during the day in his crate.

1. Feed her in the crate. Every meal with the door closed. I did this for at least a month.

2. Practice the command “crate” and give a treat when she goes in.

3. Always give a frozen peanut butter Kong, bully stick, frozen carrot, or another treat when you put her in to leave her. This makes it a positive experience every time.

4. Cover the crate when you put her in at night or for a nap.

5. Let her cry, and only give attention or let her out when she’s quiet.

Good luck!
 
G
#14 ·
As an aside, I'm not sure what "😕" means or if the server is spazzing out on a word?

Anyways, it's a common misconception that dogs do not like the crate....what they don't like are the associations to it, typically, being alone or being i there too long. But, those are easily overcome or avoided, as well as the oh so human fallibility of guilt....they do not experience small spaces as necessarily "bad", they actually prefer small, cave like places instinctually. Actually, it takes them time to acclimate to the larger open spaces of the house, and the destructiveness many experience is the result of too much freedom too soon, and the attendant anxiety and behavioral response to it.

So, as long as you make crate time predictable and neutral then the V should be OK. Don't confuse their reaction to separation and the newness of the environment itself with some long term trauma...they all get thru it if it's predictable, consistent..and you are not misusing the crate... and you do not let them out while they are screaming, as that reinforces the screaming.
 
A
#15 ·
I really, really appreciate all of your comments and advice. Thank you SO much! My husband is going through a nightmare work period so I’m quite alone with this - except for your support. It really helps me.
First off all you help me realize that it wasn’t the crate but me not doing it all right that wasn’t the problem and also that isn’t was being impatient with the progress. I compared to friends with puppies who slept alone by 12 weeks, and got frustrated (and the sleep deprivation didn’t help).
But here by week 13 there im seeing small steps forward:
Daisy falls asleep now without cuddle and not ON one of us.
In the evening she enters her crate by her self and with a praise and a pat she sleeps willingly (crate door open).
About 10 o’clock in the evening we (or she) wakes her up and go for a pee. She goes back in crate with doors closed with a minimum of whining. Maybe 2 minutes. I’m next to her but she can’t see me. No crazy-daisy anymore 🙂
At night she doesn’t wake up every hour to check if I’m there - Its up to 1,5 hours off straight sleep now. Only a little whining and maybe a quick lick of my fingers through the bars and she settles again.
Im getting (much!) better at reading when she gets tired and then tell her to go in to the crate, not waiting anymore for her to “go to bed” by her self (I think that was my biggest mistake, expecting her to just go to bed when she was tired. ..She didn’t at all and she got WAY overtired and overreacting instead). We still go back and forth 3-4 times - I point and say crate, she lies down, I leave, she gets back out, and back to start- before she stays in there.
- And for an hour ago I also closed the doors and left and she only whined for 5 minutes, but no howling, digging, etc. so YAI!! I feel like we are on the right track. I just have to be more patient, celebrate the small progress and not give up 😊
Again - thank you for your support and for reading my really long posts 😄😉
 
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