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Our boy is 11 weeks old and we struggled to get him to use his crate and so he has been sleeping in his bed on the floor next to me. He has now decided he wants to sleep in the bed and won’t take no for an answer. My other half and I have fallen out about how to handle pup, as he favours a much more tough love approach and can be quite aggressive (I feel) and I’m much softer and probably a
bit of a soft touch. He now wants us to shut the dog in the utility room and ignore his cries but I just can’t bear that. I don’t have a problem with the dog on the bed but he does. What should we do??
 

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IMO you two should really come to a decision as soon as possible about having the dog in your bed. I know from other couples second hand that this topic is the cause for many disagreements and arguments. I've read that some people have successfully trained their V's to only sleep in the people bed when the owners wish to allow it. That sounds like advanced V ownership skills to me, but some others may chime in!

Personally I'm a proponent of crate training. We crate trained Ellie right from the start. It was a long and arduous journey but she now sleeps comfortably in our living room outside our master bedroom door in her crate all night long and is nice and quiet in the morning. To train her took weeks of having her crate in our bedroom with her carrying on with the dramatic crying. It was terrible and we were basically zombies during the day. But the hard work has paid off! The key is that you cannot give in to the temptation of the siren unless it is time for a potty break or other business only reason. There are many topics on this here and the internet on the topic. I feel that it is imperative to lay the groundwork that whining and crying will not get the pup what it wants unless it is for a serious biological or serious purpose. Otherwise the pup is training you to get what he wants instead of the other way around.
 

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I'm in the "not in our bed camp", but locking him up in the utilty room may have negative consequences down the road.
At 11 weeks old, he is still so very much a puppy, and will be for many more weeks to come. He still needs reassurance and comforting. There is no "tough love" at this point. Don't let your other half get aggressive with him at this stage, or you can set yourself up for some very negative behavioral consequences down the road.
It's a pain in the butt, and a committment, but with all of my puppies through the years, I have slept next to them when they re in their crate. I cover the front, and when they cry or whine, I just lightly tap on the crate and speak to them in low reassuring tones.
In three weeks your puppy will have his adult brain formed. Everything with him right now should be establishing predictable patterns in his daily routine.
 

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We crate trained as well. And yes it takes time in the beginning, we had the crate in our bedroom to help soothe the puppy or take them outside if needed. Then after probably 2-3wks we put Mo in a crate in the kitchen. Everyone sleeps well at night now. My husband and I did not want a dog in the bed from the start though. (same with kids haha). Good luck, whatever you decide just be consistent.
 

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We had great intentions for crate training. Upon bringing her home I took one look at her and thought, well maybe just the first night, I'll let her stay with me until she is a little more adjusted ..fast forward, she is ten months now and has never once slept a night apart from me! Lol. I wish I could say I regretted it, but to be honest, I wouldn't trade the puppy snuggles and memories for anything. I would miss her if she were in her crate and away from my side.
 

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We had great intentions for crate training. Upon bringing her home I took one look at her and thought, well maybe just the first night, I'll let her stay with me until she is a little more adjusted ..fast forward, she is ten months now and has never once slept a night apart from me! Lol. I wish I could say I regretted it, but to be honest, I wouldn't trade the puppy snuggles and memories for anything. I would miss her if she were in her crate and away from my side.
Mine were all trained to sleep in the crate at night, but then gravitate to the bed.
Shine sleeps with us most nights. If I get a nap during the day, either Hunter or Jasper will nap with me. Once a month Shine and I go out of town, and Hunter, and Jasper both sleep with my husband.
Jasper has been missing out on his time in the bed, while recovering from TPLO surgery.
 

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Started off when we got Oscar at 8 weeks old, he slept in his crate beside the bed. Settled well and no issues. I let him on the bed once and not slept in his crate since 🥰
 

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We have a V cross who is 14 weeks and he loves his crate - not initially tho!

when we brought him home we set it up in the place where we wanted him to sleep - mad it all cosey and put a sheet that’s e got of the breeders/that had been with his mum. He would happily get in but would cry on a night when we left so I would sit outside his crate for comfort but didn’t physically comfort him. The crate door at that point was always open as we just wanted him to get use to it. After a couple of nights with me sat outside he now understands our night routine and happily goes to bed downstairs in the hall.

agree with your partner what the rules are, remember it seems all lovely andsweet having them in your bed when they are puppies but they won’t be puppies for long and soon they will be taking up half the bed!! X
 
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