Oh, the crying rips your heart out, doesn't it??? I asked for the same advice on here myself when we brought Hobie home. Unfortunately I cannot provide sage advice on the "night time crate", as we packed it in the first night and have let Hobie sleep with us ever since. I have no regrets on that, we LOVE snuggling with her and waking up with her. And she's in the crate (with a mid-day break) when we're at work so we don't feel as bad about being with her at night.
As far as the day time, the first week or so was so rough, and I even worked from home to crate train her in small blocks. I remember taking a conference call in my office, wondering how loud her screaming from the crate downstairs could be heard on the phone....
what seemed to help a little was keeping the crate very near me, and leaving the door open. And trying to let her go in on her own, which she didn't at first, but after a couple of days realizing that it was ok, she'd explore a LITTLE bit, and then go in there and snooze. But as soon as she'd wake up, if I had closed the crate door, it was a meltdown.
She didn't turn the corner until after we went back to work on our regular schedule and HAD to leave her in the crate until the pet sitter came at lunchtime. The first few days were bad, hearing her cry when I pulled out of the garage. I envisioned her crying for 4 hours. But the sitter said she was always sleeping when he got there.
It will get better. Be persistent, reward her going in there, make it a safe place. She may never love it but she will come to understand that it's part of her home.
... lots of it.
