9 weeks old is too young to let them "bark it out".
Their whole world just got turned upside down and they are struggling to make sense of the new environment they're in.
Some handle it better than others, but all handle it in their own way. As for your friends comments, take them with a grain of salt.
I always crate train, because my dogs will travel in crates to hunting areas, so it isn't an option for me to not crate train. The way I do it is by setting up a sleeping pad for me next to the crate for the first week or so. Each time I put the puppy in the crate I cover the front door with a towel so that they cannot see out the front.I lie down next to it when they are in, and will just softly murmur to them, or lightly tap on the crate door, when they stir, or begin to make sounds of anxiety, or distress. I want them to mentally understand that they are not alone. Someone is there. Yep, I don't get a good nights sleep for a few days. It just is what it is.
If you're only putting the puppy in the crate at night, I would advise you to reconsider. Every time the puppy needs to sleep, it's into the crate. Day or night. Be sure to let them go to the bathroom just prior to putting them in the crate, and as soon as they come out of the crate, take them out to go to the bathroom.
They need to understand that the crate isn't permanent. They will be let out.
If you have a nine week old puppy that will sleep all on it's own, with you there, and background distraction going on around it,that's pretty amazing. Most times the little buggers just won't go to sleep if anyone is still there. Capitalize on that! Finn, my 4 -1/2 month old is just now starting to nap, if were present.
You'll never beat a lesson into a dog, you just beat desire out.